Notes by Someone Who'll Never Leave the House Again

Went to Superfresh on Friday night. They ran out of bananas. No refried beans either. I hope you're all enjoying your banana tacos, Baltimore.

My neighbor shoveled the roof above her porch. It's a rowhouse. Couldn't she shovel mine too? I hope my roof collapses, so I can give her the stink-eye.

I shoveled a path for the dogs in the back. Almost fell down the steps. My wife would have found me frozen like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Only with a shovel instead of an axe.

I'll give you five big ones if you dig out my car. (here's a picture of one big one. Imagine five of those!)

Snowed In

Really? They're really talking about the possibility of a foot of snow? Man... I had plans... Ah well, here's what I need to make it through the greatest snow storm of 2010 (so far):

1. Nutella. Make it two.

2. Season 4 of The Office.

3. Some people watch Jersey Shore. This is MY guilty pleasure.

4. Caillou. Hey, I'm not alone here, you know.

5. TweetDeck

6. Waiting for my neighbor to shovel the sidewalk in front of my house.

7. Secretly curse my neighbor because she shovels the entire block at 6am.

8. Thank my neighbor. Tell her I owe her one.

9. Pretend I'm hungover after pretending to play a SOTU drinking game.

10. Complain about the weather.

This is all I'm gonna say about the game

A Ravens loss means the people in the neighborhood are upset.

Which means no fireworks.

Which means my dogs don't bark, cry, or pee on the floor.

The dogs not barking means my baby gets to sleep.

The End.

About the Marc Steiner Scoop

Yes, it's true that Marc Steiner came out first with the resignation news. But he did it in a badly worded email that stated the Mayor has resigned already, when she didn't. Steiner admits the email was wrong, yet he still states he had the facts right before anyone else did. Maybe. But his email didn't convince anyone; it only added to the confusion, which ended when an hour later, WBAL reported the Mayor had agreed to resign.

It's funny how the ant-looking blogger from the Sun is so passionate about giving Steiner the credit, calling it "a remarkably clean scoop." Maybe the hatred for WBAL, which officially broke the news, is too strong?

After I pointed out in a comment that this was anything but a clean scoop, the ant-looking one was a little bit of a dick about it, calling my comments meaningless and empty. However, he has edited his post since then. There is no more mention of a remarkably clean scoop. Apology accepted in advance, Douche.



Edit (see, Zurawik? it's easy to inform people when you edit something):

So I felt a little weird about it all. Maybe I just imagined Zurawik calling Steiner's email "a remarkably clean scoop"? After all, a commenter on Baltimore Brew writes that Zurawik teaches Media Ethics... A Media Ethics professor wouldn't belittle me for arguing Steiner's email wasn't "a remarkably clean scoop," and then take this phrase out with no mention of the editing (and no apology to the readers).

Without  proof of the editing, I was either crazy or wrong. Probably both. Unfortunately, Google Cache did not have the original editing.

But TweetMeme did:

And here's the current editing from the Sun:

And here you have it. With no mention of editing, without admitting he was wrong in calling Steiner's email "a remarkably clean scoop," and without apologizing to his readers, Zurawik quietly changed his post from

And while he was incorrect in saying that she had already resigned, when in fact a deal was still in the works, Steiner's e-mail was a remarkably clean scoop given all the media outlets competing on the story.

to

And while he was incorrect in saying that she had already resigned, when in fact a deal was still in the works, Steiner's e-mail was a surprising way to first hear the news of resignation given all the media outlets competing on the story.

Well, so much for Media Ethics.

Hip in Hampden?

Last year, on Hampden Fest, I walked by the Royal Farms when a Hampden hoodlum said to no one something about the damn yuppies taking over the neighborhood. Even though I felt it was directed at me, I could understand where he was coming from.

Don't get me wrong. I'll be happy if one day I wake up and see no knee-length white shirts, no off-center baseball hats, and no Swastika neck tattoos, but I still could understand the guy's frustration.

And now, every time I walk by that 13.5% wine bar I feel the same way. Who are these people? Why is it so dark in there? And why is it so yellow and orange? That dude who works there, who used to work at that small Italian restaurant, what's his damn story? Hampden used to be edgy! You don't see wine bars in the movie Pecker, do you!? Damn yuppies, taking over the neighborhood!

On Shopping Carts, Heroin, Cat Ladies, and Leaking Roofs

Woke up to find a Giant shopping cart in front of my house. The whole day I'm thinking, "What the hell am I supposed to do with a shopping cart now? Do I call Giant and ask them to pick it up? Or is it now my job to get rid of it?" But the next day it was gone. The junkies use these things as moving trucks.

I don't want to sound insensitive about my neighbors' soul-destroying addiction, but if they stopped doing heroin, they'd probably get motivated and join a Tea Party.

The cat lady on the other side of the block saw me pick up after my dogs, and she offered to take the bag into her house. I said I was good.

Please tell me everyone else has a leaking roof. Can you do that for me?

Happy New Year, Baltimore!

Dude, Where's My Car? Oh, under that white stuff.

Enjoying yourselves, Baltimore? I was hiding in the house, playing dead, knowing my neighbors would shovel the sidewalk in front if I play my cards right. Which apparently I did, because the front was clear. But what about the cars? Dear Neighbors, my cars are not going to clear a path for themselves, you know!

So the whole block is clear, apart from one house. When it comes to that particular house, though, all you need to do is tell them there's some heroin at the bottom of the snow and they'll be outside digging. Otherwise, they'll be out of the house the next time they get arrested, thank you very much.

Another problem with my block is that there are too many self-assigned Block-Sheriffs. Everyone is telling me what I'm doing wrong when I shovel my car out. Just because in the process I covered my neighbor's car with snow? And another neighbor says she's really proud of everyone who worked so hard.

Thanks, I guess.